I feel like I am taking a risk writing this post as quite a few may not agree with what I am about to talk about. But what the hey! Let’s get right into it – Why I choose understanding over forgiveness.
As I have come about to discover along my awakening journey I have grown to see that forgiveness is something created by the ego, well in disguise! For me, forgiveness is act of forgiving received by someone who has done wrong by another. However, the more I think about it, the more I realise that the person asking forgiveness does not owe me anything, so they don’t need my forgiving. Now this is not the same as “I refuse to forgive that person” or “that person doesn’t deserve my forgiveness”, but instead I choose to understand. Here you guys may be able to see where the Ego creeps up. The Ego creates this illusory feel that the person forgiving is a victim and the person asking for forgiveness is the perpetrator.
So why do I choose understanding over forgiveness? When I choose to understand someone, I choose to see why someone has done what they have done – the types of experiences that they would have been through in their life time that has led them to this one moment. I’d give you guys a basic example. There’s a shop lifter that has been caught by the owner taking his products. Now the owner here has the opportunity to get justice and turn the person in, or to tell the shop lifter to ask for his forgiveness, or the owner can understand. Understanding in this situation involves being able to perceive the things that has happened in that shop lifter’s life that has led them to this very point in their life time whereby the shop lifter believes that stealing is the optimal option for survival, or best decision. Here I would believe that the shop lifter has made choices in response to his life experiences and exposures, instead of the person doing wrong by me. The shop lifter does not owe me anything, nor do they need to ask for my forgiveness as I believe the person is doing the best they can given what they know and are made up of (including genetics, life experiences and knowledge etc). Who am I to forgive, when I too am equal and one with another? If we were to have given the same life exposures as that person, we would have led our life up till that very moment as well. I may not agree with what the person has done, but I simply understand, and will help that person by showing empathy, kindness and understanding.
So let’s take a pause the next time you felt like you were done wrong by someone. Was it you who was hurting? Or was it your ego? Taking the steps of love, understanding and compassion will raise our consciousness and shift us all to a oneness way.
Catch all you Seekers around! and remember to be kind to yourself 🙂
With love always,